Forgiveness
You may be thinking this is going to be another one of those feel good sites that is going to be all warm and fuzzy talking about forgiveness. UHMMM. . . . . . NOPE. .
Here's the truth, you have to just forgive or go on being miserable. Forgive others and, yes - here it comes the BIG ONE - forgive yourself.
FORGIVENESS is a CHOICE. It is not a feeling, it is a choice that YOU must make. A choice that YOU must take back from whoever or whatever you gave the power of choosing over to.
WHY? Do you even have to ask that question?! Would you even be reading this page if you didn't think it was necessary? You have to do it because if you don't you will remain exactly where you are. So ask yourself, are you where you where you want to be?
Think of un-forgiveness as a two-sided hook that binds you to whoever or whatever you choose not to forgive. The first person you might have hooked to yourself could be a parent, sibling, friend, lover, or even your first grade teacher. These people can be hooked to you in un-forgiveness for any number of reasons. Then along with these people, you have the people who cut you off in traffic, the person who had 13 items in the 12-item checkout line, and the police officer who didn't give you a break with the speeding ticket. In addition to all of these, you have the government who keeps taking your money for one reason or another, the cost of health insurance, the injustice of the justice system, and the unchristian behavior of the Christian neighbor.
WHOA. . . . . no wonder you can't fit through that "heavenly gate" and find that peace promised to you. Can you picture yourself with all those two-sided hooks and these people and things attached to you? Now just imagine unhooking each one of these hooks from you. Does it mean that the events that created the hook never happened? NO! What ever happened, happened - you can't change the past, but you can choose how you will live your future. Forgiveness means that you choose not to be controlled by the event or maybe even the person that causes you pain any longer. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to immediately give trust to a person who has betrayed or hurt you; trust is earned and that person may never earn that trust again. Sometimes we hold on to un-forgiveness toward a person who does not even know we hold that hurt. When that happens, all that does is hurt us, as that person has already moved on. Therefore, forgiveness is for US, it sets us free, it lifts our burden, it makes our load lighter. OOOPS, I guess I did get a little warm and fuzzy. The ultimate truth confirms what I have just said here:
Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
So. . . .the choice is yours, but so are the consequences or the blessings. What do YOU choose? When you have chosen to forgive, the next step is easy - express it to the Lord. Lord, I choose to forgive _____ (fill in the blank), I release it/him/her into your hands, in Jesus name. Wasn't that freeing? You may need to repeat this until your heart catches up with your obedience, but thankfully, our Lord is faithful.
Additional Resource:
The Bait of Satan : Your Response Determines Your Future by John Bevere
Victory Over the Darkness by Neil Anderson